What objects can i hump

In one of my last pieces I recommended practicing dick-sucking techniques on vegetables , and I feel the same way about sex. Try banging things around your home or apartment. You should use what's handy, and they don't always have to be organic.

When I want to get-off on objects, I'll head to the bathroom. Using a detachable shower massager, bathtub faucet or Jacuzzi jet to masturbate with does the trick 1,2,3.

Be careful to aim the water spray onto your clitoris, and not into your vaginal opening as this can cause yeast infections, vaginitis irritation of the vagina or vulva and will upset your natural PH balance.

Whatever everyday item you choose must be sanitized first with soap and hot water, anti-bacterial soap or rubbing alcohol, then covered with a condom before putting it in your body. Otherwise they could potentially cause irritation, contagion or abrasions.

Beware using wood and glass objects or items made of materials that have sharp or pointy parts, or elements that can fall off inside of you. Stick to plastics, cloth, or non-abrasive metals. If you are simply laying your lady-bits against something, even after cleansing the area, keep a layer between you and it, such as underwear, sweatpants, a t-shirt or towel. This will protect yourself, enhance the rubbing sensation, and even help to soak up any secretions you may omit.

Catch it on the spin cycle, cop a squat on top, and ride it out. If you're standing, you can straddle your labia around the edge where the sides meet, or bending over, part them, and push back onto the point.

Slide your pussy up and down anything firm that's flat or round or shiny; be it a bedpost, pole, railing, TV remote, calculator, coffee pot, candlestick holder, bicycle seat, table leg, chair arm or doorknob. Hump the corner of your bed, couch, chaise lounge, settee, ottoman or any upholstered furniture.

Press your flesh into a fresh pile of folded clothes, or throw a stuffed animal between your legs and squeeze. Crammed in between, you control the resistance as you press into the tight crevice. Plush carpet, sheets gathered, or blankets piled up in a ball are all totally fuck-able. You can use any sock sleeve as a cum-receptacle, or when you're in the shower hang a hot wet towel around your wanker to cocoon it in moist warm weight. Choose the style that fits your manhood and then put a condom, latex glove, or other protective sheath — filled with lube!

Flip the open end over the top and secure with a rubber band or tape so it stays in place. You can hold the cylinder in your hand or wedge it between your mattresses or your couch. Cock-condiments are more pleasurable when warmed slightly in the microwave; but make sure you test the temperature first before putting your prick into anything hot. Take a large cucumber, squash, watermelon, honeydew, or cantaloupe, cut a hole to fit your erection in one side, and a smaller opening the size of a pencil in the other.

Hollow out the inside to fit your circumference and then screw the squishy goodness. You can place your finger over the small hole and remove it to adjust the draw to simulate the effect of getting a blowjob. Select a jar and fill it with stewed tomatoes, Spaghetti O's, mac-n-cheese, cottage cheese, oatmeal or peanut butter. Cover the top with plastic wrap and a rubber band, cut a hole and you're ready to go.

You can also turn your salami into a sandwich by slapping it between two pieces of bread, bologna, chicken breast, chicken skin, lamb kebob, spam, liver, lox, or steak.

Grab your meal two-fisted, squeeze and squirt. Plastic Baggie. Pick your size from snack to storage , fill it with Crisco, Vaseline, Jell-O or banana pulp, and then stuff it with your meat.

Hold the package in your preferred hand or cram everything under a cushion, then pleasure yourself to completion. Rubber Gloves. If you have a detachable showerhead, you might want to start taking longer showers. Every setting on these showerheads usually has some amount of vibrating power, although your best bet is to put it on the high-powered jet stream to really get some vibes going.

Turn the showerhead over so the back is facing you and use it rub on any sensitive areas that will make you ooh and ahh. Try your clitoris, nipples or that spot between the ball sack and asshole called the perineum — or the male G-spot. It can also do the same as the showerhead above. Pick a setting so your phone will vibrate for long periods of time — like having your partner use his or her phone to call yours or pressing the volume button down continuously — then use it to hit those sweet spots we mentioned earlier.

Some apps you can download are made specifically for this purpose! This is a good option for solo sex, but you can also use it with a partner and take turns using it on one another.