How can i do 69

Alternatively, try it in a side-by-side position. The trick to 69ing like a pro is to have fun with it, says board-certified sexologist Debra Laino. Keep it relaxed and sensual. For example, have your partner lie on the bed so that their head is hanging slightly over the edge.

Stand on the floor over them, and as you kiss and massage their upper half, slowly crawl your way down their body until you're both in position.

Don't forget: There's plenty more body to explore as you're going down on each other, says Carol Queen, PhD, staff sexologist for Good Vibrations. Not only can your hands pleasure the other hot spots surrounding their nether regions like their inner thighs and hips , but they can also be put to good use when your mouth needs a breather.

Sensate focus exercises , which require couples to focus on the sensation of being touched, are often used to help people reconnect in the bedroom, says Nan Wise, PhD, a licensed psychotherapist and certified sex therapist, and author of the forthcoming Why Good Sex Matters. The gist: By focusing on how it feels to be touched in certain ways, the pair has a better understanding of what turns them on, ultimately leading to better sex.

Put the concept to use during 69 by focusing deeply on what it feels like to touch and be touched, says Wise. Take a moment to trace your partner's spine, or the curve of their butt, instead of just going after it. Keep a small vibrator handy or tell your partner to stimulate the vulva in addition to tongue action, he suggests. Matatas says internal sex toys could also maximize pleasure for two vulva-owning partners. A dildo can also work wonders, Matatas says. Yes, it can be hard to focus on your own orgasm as you're trying to pleasure your partner.

If the distraction is seriously interfering with your O game, feel free to take some breaks here and there. Think: intervals, not a marathon! It can be hard to focus on receiving and giving at the same time. That said, there are some hacks for making 69 accessible, pleasurable, and more likely to lead to some highly memorable sensations.

Is it because your mouth gets tired, or you have trouble multitasking? Maybe a combination of all three? One of the things that make 69 feel difficult is the physical mobility of the position itself. Being backward and on top of your partner or vice versa sometimes feels more like a game of Twister than a good sex sesh. Try lying next to one another on your sides. This allows you and your partner to access one another with a bit more ease, meaning you can spend more energy making each other feel ah-mazing.

Start with some gentle teasing, and then increase the intensity. Another bonus: Lying in a side-by-side position allows you to relax a bit more, which can also make you more open and receptive to feeling pleasure. Do what you need to do to inspire a sense of play. Who says you have to solely use your mouth for 69?

He loved how it felt and I loved that I got to mix up the delivery! You can also experiment with toys, like tiny bullet vibrators or strokers. Not only does this give your hands and mouth a break, but it also creates space for all sorts of fun, new sensations. Allow your partner to take a break pleasuring you so that you can focus on their body, and then switch.

Remember: you get to define what your sex life looks like, and that includes Other props can come to play too. Oral-sex stimulators like the Fleshlight Quick Shot or the Svakom Cookie can help mimic the sensation of receiving head, she says. Anxiety is basically the antithesis of pleasure, no matter the position. And while you should never ever!

First, talk to your partner about your nerves. The simple act of speaking up can help ease your fears. Hey, partners who troubleshoot anxiety together stay together.

Second, think through where your feelings are coming from. Watching queer and feminist porn, which typically features a wider range of body types, can help ease some of these feelings, she says. If your anxiety is centered on the rest of your bod, leave your shirt on! Heck, leave your sweats on too. Better yet, opt for material that will enhance the feeling of touch and tongue, like silk, satin, or cotton.

Come back when you have real problems, people! Follow her on Instagram. From full-on body quakes to quiet and shy, an orgasm looks and feels different for everyone. If you're curious about fooling around with a little more….