What makes old men grouchy

Our once ironclad stomachs get delicate. We have more trouble sleeping. For a full list of all of the maladies that beset men as they age, just watch the pharmaceutical commercials during the evening news: Acid reflux. Joint pain. Erectile dysfunction. Frequent urination. No wonder we get so easily pissed off. Then there are the changes that come in our family lives and work lives. For decades, our identity has been tied to our children and our jobs. Then, our kids leave home and we retire.

What do we have left? And finally, there is the fact that the world is changing around us, and rarely to our high standards. Aging men, in particular, succumb to the nearly irresistible temptation to look at The World These Days and find it hopelessly screwed up. Just thinking about all of this was getting me, yes, irritated.

With all of this evidence of decline, how can we not be grumpy? Clearly, I needed to look at this issue a little more scientifically. So I discovered that, according to the Mayo Clinic, men at this age experience a slow and continuous decrease in testosterone production. This is a completely normal phenomenon — yet for some men, the decrease is particularly steep. In other words, it is a contributing factor in something called Irritable Male Syndrome, a genuine medical condition, for which the poster boy is Donald Trump.

What I needed to do was find a knowledgeable person who could explain more fully why men my age get so irritable, and more importantly, what we can do to prevent it. Fortunately, I knew exactly the man to turn to: Spokane author Michael Gurian. He has spent a lifetime studying and writing about our journeys through life — often with an emphasis on male psychology. First of all, Gurian confirmed that low testosterone can, in fact, be one of the culprits.

And a lot of us get kind of depressed. Females can get immensely irritated, too. Being able to retire means you no longer have to spar with a demanding boss or chase around a brood of unruly children. Instead, you can drop in on the grandchildren at your leisure or take off for a spontaneous weekend getaway without telling anyone.

If a well-oiled retirement can remove certain mood-hampering stress, old age can, of course, present its own kind. And certain temperaments may struggle more than others with age-related challenges.

Consider a typical dinner out. On the plus side, you may now have more time to dine at a new restaurant in town. Dim lighting can make it hard to read a menu. A busy server may get impatient if you have trouble hearing the specials. Anyone could feel cranky by the time the dessert menu rolls around.

Certain natural changes that occur as we age, like impulse control, can make you more sharp-tongued than before, and more likely to say what is on your mind, for good or bad.

David Rosenberg, 75, noticed his personality starting to change about five years ago, soon after he retired. He stopped wanting to please people so much, and stopped holding back when someone said or did something that bothered him. Dubrow noticed the change, too, and sees it as a positive one overall, allowing them to focus on what they want to as a couple. In general, experts say, when an older person becomes moodier than he used to be, there may be a good reason — and those close to him should pay attention.

Nathanson, geriatric psychiatrist at Columbia University. The root cause, experts say, could potentially be one of the following:. But a gradual decline in testosterone levels in men, known as andropause, is being researched as a possible linked to depression. Also as we age, our dopamine levels decline, too, making us vulnerable to dopamine-deficient depression. Chronic pain : Pain, particularly chronic pain, can make a person irritable.

Dealing with pain saps your energy, leaving little room for niceties and patience. It can also interfere with sleep. Loneliness : Social isolation and loneliness is a national epidemic, affecting a third of older adults. If you have no one to talk to, and no one to visit, depression can creep in. Spend little time with other people, and you lose the social skills that keep you engaged with the world. Loneliness can be a vicious cycle.

Learn to adapt : Aging often means handling an onslaught of changes, many of which you may not want to accept. But pound your stake in the ground and refuse to budge and you may find that the world moves on without you. As we were growing up, there was a stigma connected with anxiety and depression.

They were mental illnesses and people who had them were locked away. We never realized anxiety and depression may not be acute and we could not admit we suffered from them, especially to ourselves. So, we never talked about what was bothering us. Some of us even dealt with them by self-medicating with alcohol or drugs. That led to addiction. Our society is now at the point where this stigma is disappearing. Mental health issues are being viewed as any other illnesses.

It is ok to talk to a friend about what you are going through. You may even benefit from seeing a counselor. There may be one at your church or one your pastor can refer you to. They will help you find a counselor. The phone number is The best thing you can do is to talk to them about what you are seeing.

Find out what they feel is causing it. If you are a younger person reading this, please help a parent, older relative or friend start to enjoy their lives more fully.

If you have any comments on what you have read in this post, please email them to me. Also — if you have any ideas about subjects you would like to see discussed in future posts, please send me an email and let me know.

My email address is bob. As I have aged, other grumpy and irritable people have crossed my path. There are a variety of reasons. Here are some: Some have not had the life they expected. They expected more out of either their work or personal life. Others do not have enough income to live comfortably in retirement.

During the economic downturn in and , many older people lost their jobs. It took some a long time to get new jobs. Frequently these new jobs paid much less than those they had. They retired with a lower Social Security benefit and little or no savings.

Some have chronic medical conditions or disabilities. Health deteriorates with age. Some people have constant pain.